Monday, September 29, 2008

Dentists and Doctors, cohorting with the Devil

Have you ever gone to a Doctors office. 90% of the trip consists of waiting to see the doctor. 5% is actually spent with the doctor. He'll either prescribe medication or tell you that you that all the tests are normal and you can leave. Which doesn't seem to answer any questions, but by this time you have spent so much time sitting in the doctors office you just want to get out of there, so you don't push the issue. The other 5% is leaving the office. As awful as visiting the doctor can be, I'd rather see them then a dentist. You spend half your visit to the dentist in a waiting room. But the other half you spend sitting in a chair having some newly trained hygienist scrubbing away at your mouth. Eventually the Dentist will come in. He'll be wearing some glasses that make his eyes bulge like a fish, and a smile that everyone knows is fake. He'll act like you are the best of buds, ask how you've been and what you've been doing. He'll want to know if you are going to school, and if so what classes you are taking. He'll ask if you're married and if not try to hook you up with the hygienist, but then realize she is married. He will ask all these things while he his starring down your throat, jabbing away at your teeth and gums. How the heck are you supposed to answer any of his questions? I'm pretty sure dentist are either really good at talking to themselves or they are fluent in Grunt. Eventually he'll get tired of deciphering each grunt so he'll turn his attention to the hygienist. He'll then proceed to ask her how she is doing, what she has been doing and how her husband is. They will then have a lengthy discussion about how the hygienist recently visited her in laws. Meanwhile you are left sitting in a chair with your mouth open, looking like a dead fish. Eventually the Dentist will finish up and tell you that you have a cavity and he needs to see you sometime in the next month so he can remove it. Then he gets up and leaves. The hygienist will give you a little baggy consisting of a cheap toothbrush, a small tube of toothpaste, a little container of dental floss, and a sticker. Truly the only thing worth keeping is the sticker. She'll then inform you that your co-pay is due and that while you are at it you might as well pay for the next seven visits you'll be having because they will all be within the next couple of months. At least a Doctor has enough sense to send you the bill instead of haranguing you with it after they've tortured you for the last two hours.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

A life more ordinary

For weeks now I have been wondering how to escape the regularity of everyday life. It has really been weighing me down. The last thing I wanted was to give in to the ordinary. I wanted to make my life different. Aware of the worry that I cause my family, I can't help but to scheme ways to achieve my goals. I even got to the point that I wanted to drop out of school, buy a dog, name it Biskut, and then roam North America on a motorcycle. Although it would lead to acheivement of some goals such as: getting a dog and a motorcycle. I realized that doing something like that isn't what I am looking for. It wouldn't lead to the freedom that I seek. Unfortunately most of my other plans followed suit, they never quite seemed to satisfy my desires. I was at a loss (and still am). As hard as I tried I couldn't find or even create "my neverland". Through my pursuit of irregularity I have learned a few things:
5 month old neices are great listeners.
It is harder than it seems to become a gypsie.
Life as a pirate is great, but short lived.
Television is the nemesis of creativity.
Pie is sweeter than cake.
A dead mouse is an unhappy mouse.
As my life has moved on, slowly, ever so slowly. I go to college, I date periodically, I go to church, I sleep in church, I play, I work, my life it has seemed extremely ordinary. It is filled with a regularity I have been trying to avoid. I don't own a motorcycle, and I don't have a dog named Biskut. Although my life is ordinary I've realized something important about ordinary lives. They aren't always ideal, but they are real. For now all I can do is to dream of "my neverland". I know dreams never achieved anything, but It is those dreams that keep me going in a life that is filled with regularity. As long as I have dreams there is hope of finding the freedom that I seek.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Scottish Blood


For Saturdays football game I got in touch with my Scottish ancestry. Realizing that the game was huge, I decided to paint my face Braveheart style. It seemed to work. I think that from now on I'll paint my face Braveheart style. FREEDOM!

(byu 59, ucla 0)

This is the after affects of the pepper spray.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Spray of Doom

Have you ever accidentally rubbed Jalapeno pepper juice on your face? Now, picture yourself dunking your head in a bucket of jalapeno juice. Times the pain that it causes by 500 hundred and that is what I went through tonight. I had the opportunity (through work) to be sprayed by pepper spray. Before we were sprayed we were warned that it was reminiscent to a scene from "Raiders of The Lost Ark", you know the part when they open the ark and the guys face gets eaten off. Yep, that part. Luckily it wasn't quite that bad. I recommend that everyone tries it at least once. That way I can laugh while I watch your face get eaten away.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Robots in Disguise

PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS MESSAGE, as it will not be seen nor read by a human.

Level sixty one is incomplete. Please do not repeat. Level nine is galactical and sublime. Prepare to tear your mind, level 29 is one of a kind.

PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS MESSAGE, as it will not be seen nor read by a human.



Thursday, September 4, 2008

RM Syndrome

Because of friendly influences I attempted to try something I don't normally try. Needless to say it is slightly embarrassing. You see there is a girl, I knew her for about a week. Then a few weeks passed by and I had forgotten about her. Until I got an email saying we should keep in touch. I reacted about the same as I normally would. My first thoughts were, "Holy crap, how the heck did she get my email". It didn't take long for me to figure out how she achieved such a task. I'm not necessarily the most secure person. Most of my contact info is listed through BYU. Anyways, I reciprocated and stalked her a little bit. I wanted to know more about the type of girl that would stock me. Well I ended up with a information about her. (She is a nice girl, and is attractive too). Then today, after getting some friendly peer pressure, I changed the way I normally do things. I actually used the number and called her. This is where it gets embarrassing. I didn't have the guts to just ask her out . So I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie, and that she could bring a friend too, because I was trying to convince my brother to come. (At the time it seemed rational. It would give me an opportunity to get to know her a little better, but without the awkward date situation). Anyways, Little K didn't want to play and she didn't have any friends that wanted to come either. So it ended up being just the two of us. The evening actually was alright except the fact that it felt an awful lot like a secret date; I'm 15 years old but wanted to go on a date with that girl so I lied to my parents and told them I was going to a movie with a bunch of friends, but really I planned it so it would just be the two of us, kind of date. I'm wondering if she considered it a date too. Wow! So now I'm left pondering my awkward behaviour, trying to figure out why I acted like a spaz. I felt so much like a return missionary its scary, I haven't even served a mission. I'm doomed.