Immortal experiences

I've been changed. First of all I usually try not to blog like this. But I've been changed. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for someone to attack my bag strap and slide it off. Every time I get a flat tire I see a joyful beautiful beaming face. The face just sits there waiting for my response. Every time I hear the name of Obama I think of a violin. I can hear her teacher voice telling me that my project is neat. Anything purple reminds me of J. Shortly after I'm reminded of the square. I see ice cream cones and I think of punting along to his sarcastic remarks. My stomach makes a sound and I think of Dr. J aka "The Grumbler" and some French word that means talk. Saying the name Dr. J or "The Grumbler reminds me of Angels fighting Angels, which in turn reminds me of bad rapping. Green moss makes me want to fly. Pigeons remind me of pigeons. Public transport reminds me of PVC pipes. Little creature noises make me cringe and smile at the same time. "Do you need help? Should I get your mom to take you to the hospital?" When I eat dinner I'm left feeling empty as I think about banana leaves. Sleep reminds me of transition. I can't listen to Queen without dancing. Hippos are now my second favorite animal( only in a very rare, hard to find form). I hear something click and I think of black and white and purple. The purple in turn leads me to J. which leads me to Square which leads to futbol. Which leads to many many things. It is all a big circly tight knot thingy inside my head. I've been changed.

Pause

My crystal glass shattered, leaving me bare.
My eyes were peeled like an orange. Now I care.
The blanket of fear that encircled me is decaying. Now I care.
I'm part of your memories. Now I care.
I'm beginning to fight for my dreams. Now I care.
I embrace my pain. Now I care.
I am not alone. Now I care.
I took the time to discover myself. Now I care.

Resume

Zachary Ostraff

OBJECTIVE:
I would like to obtain a part-time doing work of some sort. Preferably work that is exciting and fun. And it pays well.

QUALIFICATIONS:
I coached a Jr. High lacrosse team. I took a volleyball class at BYU. I have understood and can play most sports. I’m took a soccer class at BYU. I love having fun. Sometimes I can work hard. My mind likes to create. (I think)

EDUCATION:
I Graduated from Provo High with Honors in 2006.
I’m currently going to college.

ACHIEVMENTS:
I am an Eagle Scout. In High School I was awarded the Kiwanis Club Youth Leadership Award. I was the captain of my lacrosse team. I also helped start Timpview’s lacrosse team. My Cross-Country team won the 4A state title. I took 9th in the 300 Hurdles at the state track meet.

EMPLOYMENT:
Provo Parks and Recreation/soccer official, March 2008-May 2008
All The Great Rooms/furniture assembly and delivery, June 2006-May 2007
A+ Window Cleaners/window cleaner, July 2007-August 2007
BYU Event Staff/usherer, September 2007-December 2007:

REFERENCES:
1. Brian Wilcox, Cinematographer:
2. Joseph Parry, BYU Professor:
3. Joshua Campbell, Ex-Scout leader

Why

This is for those of you that had the unlucky pleasure of viewing the post before this one. The previous post was lacking the quality I prefer for my blog. So I tried to delete it. Unfortunately I couldn't figure out how to delete the post. Instead I took away the text. Instead of acknowledging my lack of blogging skills I'm going to tell you what an empty post really means.


A blank post can mean so many things. It can be hopes and dreams, or it could be personal fears. You might look at a post empty of text and see a pointless post. I look at it and see a beautiful creation. A creation that allows the reader (or lack of) to wonder why it is empty. It forces their brain to think a little bit. If it didn't do that for you. Look a little closer.

Almost Human

There is something innately appealing about mannequins. There semi-human forms, I say semi because many consist of only a torso, or a leg, sometimes just a head, nevertheless they are extremely thought provoking. I look at their soulless/lifeless forms and perceive a sense of longing. They just want to be noticed. I think I could collect mannequins for the rest of my life and never be bored. When I get home I think I will start collecting them. Maybe I should start a collection of mannequins from all over the world. Then I could have an art show entitled, Mannequin Heaven. I think I can help my mannequin friends be noticed. So if you know of a lonely mannequin, save them from their doom and give them to me. I'll find a friend for them.

Pushing Insanity

I've known for some time now that I need sport. Without it my body becomes sick and my mind weak. I need to push myself to the limits. I need to experience the pain and agony involved. I need to live on the edge of physical insanity. Recently I've realized this doesn't apply only to sport. I need to live on the edge of insanity in all aspects of my life. I need to push my boundaries and push some more. I won't be content with myself unless I push. I need to become the best possible person. Now I just need to find the guts to push. Where do I find them?

Flaming Knives

In preparation for my summer job I've taught myself how to juggle. It only took a day to figure out the basics. I'm still not very good, but I'm well on my way to becoming a Carni. Maybe my juggling will earn me a few tips. Or maybe someone at the carnival will teach me to juggle knives, or flaming sticks. Then I can go on the road as a street performer. I'll call out to the crowded streets "Come one, come all, today you will witness an event rarely attempted by professionals. I warn you now, I am no professional. So step up and pay a few pennies to a man willing to juggle flaming knives!" It will be fantastic. I better start collecting knives and lighters.

Unreachable

Can't you leave me to walk the lonely road?
Alone I wish to walk,
battling my internal conflict.
I pray for strength,
but I'm destined to break.
Your sympathy and words of care leave me stripped bare.
You seem so sincere, but I don't care!
My heart is torn,
why do you persist?

You joke, we tease, but it is insufficient for me.
would you please refrain?
I'm left wanting a change.
Melancholy ensues, blocking my view.
Could you please move?
You laugh and tease, leaving me in a dream.
Please Please refrain.
Stop laughing, stop smiling.
Can't you see this is hurting me?

Solitude embrace me.
I'll accept thee.
The tide rises, but I cannot fly!
Solitude embrace me.

Stone steps,
repetition, repetition, repetition
stones steps, clicking twists.
Musky air, wonderful sewage smells.

An old building in a new city,
waiting for change to compel its walls to move.
Hidden anguish gushes from it's seems.
"Please don't forget me!"
People used to remember.
Now if they notice, they say "Why should such an old building remain? Why don't they tear down those broken walls? Why don't they rid the world of a useless building?"
Dirt smeared bricks. Fallen from ages of decay. Lying as a memento of a forgotten age. Remembrance is but a dream. A dream slipping through a rushing stream.

A Disasterous Start

This morning I claimed my usual allotment of milk. (about 1 litre here in England). At home I usually pace my milk intake throughout the day. But because of my circumstances I'm forced to consume as much as possible at brekkie. So this morning I claimed my milk. I began eating my cereal when a girl sat across from me. (We'll call her thief #1). So theif #1 sits down across from me and grabs my litre. She then proceeds to pour some of MY milk on Her cereal. I was shocked! Luckily I had enough grace to let her enjoy her cereal. After she finished pouring My milk, I grabbed it from the middle of the table. This time I kept one hand on My milk while I finished my brekkie. Because of the increasing crowd I decided to guzzel my milk in a corner. As I got up another girl (thief # 2) asked me if I'd pour her some of My milk. I was appalled. Unfortunately I was too nice. Yet again I saw more of my litre flow away. Immediately after I poured her a glass I downed what was left of My milk. Needless to say, I've been craving milk all day.

melting on a pan, but frozen like a block of spam.
Half is whole,

When a choice is placed before you, which do you take? Just because an individual is a friend does not mean they can break the rules. But they are a friend and deserve loyalty. When is an individual worthy of a second chance?

A rainy day is awfully dry.

Respect: to show regard or consideration for;
Through out life we will have opportunities to practice respect