The Eagle has fallen, The Raven sings

Excitement permeated. What will I do? How will I ask. So positive; this will be a blast.
A lump begins to-but I choke it down.
No.
"Zac" I say. " Believe. Between you and me, please. believe."
Fortitude.
Scrolling, locating, dialing. beep, boop, beep, beep, boop, boop, beep, boop, beep, bop. Stop. Is it ringing?
yes.
once, twice. "Please hold," is that right? What is this? My stomach heaves, the elevator music leaves. "You've reached the phone of," my mind shuts off. Is this an eternal clock? The speaking stops.
A permeating existential thought.
"This is Zac, I guess I'll try back."
Confusion.
What just happend? Once again or Not yet to begin?

Frivolous Exploration:

Why Dost Thou Tormentest Me?

My guts tumble and roil about. They tie themselves in a knot. Not an ordinary square knot, nor the fantastic figure 8 knot. This is a ridiculously complex knot. In fact you couldn't call it one knot. No, this is a knot upon knot upon knot, type of knot. For simplicities sake let us call this a rats nest knot. My guts tie themselves into this huge rats nest knot. Along with the knot comes a queesy green feeling. Almost as if the rat that made a knot of my stomach decided to interweave rotting garbage between the strands of gut. A chunk of dripping diaper, a diabolic smelling sandwich, a gangrene cat. Dizziness threatens to overwhelm me. My eyes glaze, my tongue becomes a thick slab of meat stuck between my teeth. This is a crime. I try not to dwell, but my gut continues to swell. Heave, "OH NO!", Heave, "NOT NOW!", Heave.

My leg vibrates, Nay, it grates. From my pocket I pull my little telephone. 1 text it reads. Here we go. All the pain, the waiting, the nausea, the end is here, one way or the other the verdict will be known.
"Hey" it began. "I can't today". My rising gut fell. "But maybe another day". okay.

Fish Talk: Vocabulary

Fishing, like any activity has a specific vocabulary. And like any activity if you don't know or understand the vocabulary you end up sounding like an idiot. For example when you catch a big fish you would say something like, "She's a beauty". You wouldn't say something like, "This fish that I have caught is really big". A sentence like that and fisherman for miles around would know that you are a greenie. This is a list of commonly used fishing terms and the appropriate response.

"She's a beauty/she's a beaut"- when a fish is large and worth keeping.
Response: "yep, She's a keeper".

"Any luck?"- addressed to another fisherman when you first arrive at a fishing hole, or you pass another fisherman currently fishing.
Response: "A few hits, nothin much" or "A few small ones". Humility is key. It is considered impolite to brag to a stranger about the gigantic fish that you just caught.

"What's your secret?"*- When you are having no luck and you are desperate enough to ask the guy next to you what he has been catching all the fish with.
Response: You give a ten minute lecture on the proper speed to reel in your line, how to cast, and how to select the right lure.*

These are only a few of the phrases that are common when fishing. A few more vocabulary terms that are appropriate to add to your fishing repertoire are:

like magic
broke my line
she was a biggun
little guy
catch and release
keeper
monster
whopper
sardine
minnow


Typically creativity is a plus when fishing. But as you get creative with your vocabulary you might confuse your fellow fisherman. Simplicity works magic with the fish, and communication between your fellow fishermen.

*(Refer to previous Fish Talk posts)

school assignment

This is a school assignment.

In class we have been talking about chronos and kairos. These are two different kinds of time. Chronos is chronological time. Kairos is emotional time.

For class I am writing a paper on good sportsmanship at BYU. Over the last few decades, ever since the last national championship, BYU has faded from the national spot light. But in the last 4 years or so, since Bronco Mendenhall became the head coach, there has been an incease of attention from the nation. The football team has had 3 consecutive seasons with ten or more wins. BYU football has renewed its traditions of being a annual competitor. This recognition brings a lot of attention to the university. Now is the perfect time to address sportsmanship at athletic events. This also represents the chronological timeline behind my reasoning.

After last season the Oklahoma sooners invited BYU to play them in the first game of the 2009 stadium. Most of the nation thought that the #3 Sooners would destroy BYU. On a fateful day in September BYU shocked the nation. Suddenly BYU is once again in the national spot light. There has been some discussion about the possibility of BYU playing in the national championship game if they go undefeated. Over the last few years, BYU football has been building up to this point. As this season moves foreward with the nations eyes on our University, we need to remember to show them the power, grace, and positive qualities taught here at BYU. We need to show them that we can be the best fans, coaches, and players in the nation. But we need to do it in a sportsmanlike manner. This is the kairos of my argument.

A Moment

For a moment.
Maybe two.............
your eyes
caught me, trapped me, entranced me.
Released me.

I can breath.
I'd rather not.
Just one more chance!
One more moment,
caught, trapped, entranced.

Quaking Aspens

The greatest part about being awake at 5am is the serenity. Life seems to take a break. The cool air refreshes. It is so quiet that if you listen carefully you can hear the sky whisper. It whispers of the coming day, of the hot sun, and the billowing clouds. The sky whispers of hopes and dreams yet to come. As day climbs closer and closer, and the morning stars drift farther and farther, I pause and wonder why I don't wake up at 5am more often. Its sad how it takes an extraordinary event in my life for me to wake up and witness such a majestic display. And a little ironic that the extraordinary event is an attempt to take the life of another living creature.

It used to be a large family affair. We'd all get together, brothers, parents, sisters, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Annually this was a time of excitement. To some we may have been attempting to murder innocent creatures. Others would call it bow hunting. For me it was a a bonding experience. Over the years it has dwindled from a larger family gathering to a small intimate family outing. Usually just my dad, brothers and myself. But with dwindling numbers the depth of meaning has only deepened.

On this morning I found myself staring at the breaking dawn with my dad and youngest brother. All the others had moved away. We crossed the stream, stumbled through sagebrush and found our way to the base of a rolling ridge. We climbed up through the quaking aspens to the first of many deer highways crisscrossing the ridge.

"We'll take this trail." My dad said. "And you take the higher trail. Walkie talkies on channel 1. We'll meet at the flat rock."

"Okay."I replied and continued towards the top. Looking down the ridge the trees gaped open, revealing golden rolling hills slowly being illuminated by the rising sun. I took a deep breath and began along the trail.

"Soft" I thought. I need to step softly. Thousands of leaves whispered their secrets. I didn't whisper back, but I wish I had. What was I stalking? Deer, maybe. But mostly a fleeting feeling. Kind of like the feeling of letting go. It was like standing on a cliff edge. Thoughts and fears crowd your mind. Some unknown force pulls you forward. At first you resist, but then the cliff slides from under your feet and you fall. As you fall your mind clears and becomes so light that you begin to float down, spiraling like a feather. That was what I stalked.

A branch snapped off to the right, breaking my contemplations. A beautiful buck, bounded from about ten yards away to thirty-five. It stopped and stared at me for a few minutes. I could see the muscles quivering, eyes sparkling, and nostrils flaring. It was majestic. My heart raced. In my hand I held a weapon of destruction. I could raise my bow, draw back and attempt to end this life. But could I? With a wild snort the buck bounded away.

I sat down. And waited. For my mind to clear? For the buck to come back? For another chance? It doesn't matter. I waited.

After a little while I stood up and went to find my dad and little brother.

Some people may say that my hunt wasn't successful. In some regards they were right. But for about 20 seconds I experienced that elusive feeling that I had been stalking.

Fish Talk: The Lure

There are many ways to fish. You've got bait, flies, lures, artificial bait, etc. etc. My point is that for a successful fishing trip you need to select the right method for the right fish. Now here's the thing, I've only lived 22 years on this beautiful earth, and most of my fishing is in mountain lakes, so my experience is limited. But as far as I can tell trying to catch a fish is like trying to get a date with a girl. You've got to use just the right combination of flash, tastefulness, and edibility. Whether its fish or girls it takes precision, planning, and being able to think on your feet to succeed.

There are a lot of factors that can affect the outcome of your fishing. The biggest and most unpredictable factor is personal taste. You never really know what a fish or a girl will bite on. But for every factor that can't be predicted you have another that if properly identified can lead to success. A few of the most important factors to be identified are: water currents, how the fish are feeding, the weather, and depth.

Basically you have two approaches once you've considered the factors. You can either try and blend in with the natural environment or you can shock and awe with uniqueness. If you decide to stay natural; watch for bugs and insects, and try to emulate those. This works because it plays to the comfort of the fish. But if you want to have your lure stand out try something a little bit flashy. Like a golden spinner. This method catches the light and leaves the fish intrigued. Therefore the fish is likely to strike at the lure. Use these same concepts with girls.

As a disclaimer each and every fish or fishing hole is unique. These are only a few of the methods and factors to choosing the correct form of fishing at any given time. My methods may not be the best for your particular fish.