For weeks now I have been wondering how to escape the regularity of everyday life. It has really been weighing me down. The last thing I wanted was to give in to the ordinary. I wanted to make my life different. Aware of the worry that I cause my family, I can't help but to scheme ways to achieve my goals. I even got to the point that I wanted to drop out of school, buy a dog, name it Biskut, and then roam North America on a motorcycle. Although it would lead to acheivement of some goals such as: getting a dog and a motorcycle. I realized that doing something like that isn't what I am looking for. It wouldn't lead to the freedom that I seek. Unfortunately most of my other plans followed suit, they never quite seemed to satisfy my desires. I was at a loss (and still am). As hard as I tried I couldn't find or even create "my neverland". Through my pursuit of irregularity I have learned a few things:
5 month old neices are great listeners.
It is harder than it seems to become a gypsie.
Life as a pirate is great, but short lived.
Television is the nemesis of creativity.
Pie is sweeter than cake.
A dead mouse is an unhappy mouse.
As my life has moved on, slowly, ever so slowly. I go to college, I date periodically, I go to church, I sleep in church, I play, I work, my life it has seemed extremely ordinary. It is filled with a regularity I have been trying to avoid. I don't own a motorcycle, and I don't have a dog named Biskut. Although my life is ordinary I've realized something important about ordinary lives. They aren't always ideal, but they are real. For now all I can do is to dream of "my neverland". I know dreams never achieved anything, but It is those dreams that keep me going in a life that is filled with regularity. As long as I have dreams there is hope of finding the freedom that I seek.
15 years ago
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