Bread for Jose

In a world of dreams people never sleep. There is no need. Magic runs rampant throughout the world, glittering like fresh snow at the dawn of day. Angels sing, and dinosaurs roar. Cowboys sing songs and tell stories next to bonfires. In a world of dreams, eagles cry and mice don't die. Unfortunately for Jose he didn't live in a world of dreams. Instead poor Jose lived in a dreary world. A world where money ruled and the poor went hungry. Jose was one of the poor. If you pause for a moment, listening to the silence seep, you can hear the gurgle of Jose's tummy.
"Oh, Jose," it cries. "I want some bread! I want some bread to fill me up".
Jose then replies, "I'm sorry my stomach. I have no bread to feed you today. Maybe tomorrow I will have bread to feed you". This was the story of Jose, his stomach complaining and his reply. One day while Jose lay on the side of a dirt road, a large man, waddled towards him.
"Boy, come help me with my groceries," ordered the man. "I need to buy my food and my servant boy is sick today. If you help I will give you a small loaf of bread".
It was a miracle. "Stomach, today I will fill you up with bread," Jose whispered.
Jose followed the large man down the dusty street to the store. Then he followed the man through the store grabbing the groceries the man wanted. The large man bought a lot of food. He bought olives, steak, chicken, bacon, fruits of every kind, he even bought a bar of chocolate. The one thing the man didn't buy was bread. After the man paid for his groceries Jose hauled them across town to the large mans house.
"Boy," said the man. "put those groceries away and then leave". Jose took the groceries to the kitchen and put the food away. Then he went back to the large man and asked, "sir you said you would give me some bread for my services". The large man laughed a deep, mocking laugh. "Boy" he said, "you are a fool. I have no bread for you". Jose left the large mans house and went back to his street.
"Stomach", said Jose "That large man is a liar, he gave me no bread to fill you up with".
"Jose, I was told I would have bread today, but I had no bread. I am even hungrier than before," his stomach moaned.
"I am sorry stomach, maybe I'll find you bread tomorrow" said Jose.
The next day Jose was sitting on the same street when the large man came by again. "Boy" he said, "I need more groceries today. Come carry them for me".
So Jose, trusting the large man, carried his groceries. And again the large man laughed at Jose when he asked for some bread. Every day for a week the large man would tell Jose to carry his groceries, and every day he laughed at Jose.
At the end of the week Jose was waiting for the large man to come ask him to carry the groceries, but the man never came. Instead a skinny man in a fancy suit walked down the street. The man walked up to Jose and asked, "are you Jose the grocery boy?"
"My name is Jose", he replied.
"Well I need you to carry my groceries for me", the skinny man said.
Standing up Jose followed the man to the grocery store. The skinny man bought many, many groceries. He bought everything the large man would buy, but he bought much more. He even bought bread. As they left the store the skinny man turned to Jose and said, " The large man is my brother, he is mean and a liar. He told me how he makes you carry his groceries every day without giving you bread. These groceries are for you. I apologize for my brother. He will no longer ask you to carry his groceries". The skinny man walked away, leaving Jose with many, many groceries.
"Stomach" Jose said. "Today I will fill you up with bread".

The Wifery

The wind blew the autumn leaves around and around. A man walked alone among this concert of excitement and loss. With each step his shoes would scuff the cold cement. He walked up to one of the many doors lining the street, pulled out a key and unlocked the door. With a heavy sigh he walked into the cold dark house. Too tired to make dinner, the man found himself slumped on the couch staring blankly at the television. He was remembering.

"It's time", he said to his friend.
"Time for what?" his friend replied.
"I'm going to get a wife," he said.
After a minute of sitting in awkward silence his friend asked," where will you get her from?"
"I've looked into three stores, wife patch, soul match, and wife in a basket. I've decided to try wife in a basket. They seem to have slightly better quality than the other two," he replied.

The front of the store was clean and neat. Above the entrance a large yellow sign with swirling red letters read, "Welcome to wife in a basket, come on in and get a wife". Choking down his anxiety the man pushed open the door. Responding to the door a little pudgy man popped up from behind the cash register.
"What can I help you with today?" the storekeeper asked.
"I'm looking for a wife," he replied.
"Well you came to the right store; all we sell here are wives and wives aplenty. What is your preference?" the store keeper asked.
With a look of confusion the man replied, "I'm not sure, this is my first time getting a wife".
"If you just walk this way then, I'll show you our wonderful selection of wifery," said the storekeeper.
The man followed the storekeeper trying not to be overwhelmed by the gawking women. He was about to give up when he saw her. She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Only ten feet away she waited, eyeing this prospective husband up and down. There was coolness about her, a sense of self that many other women didn't have. Her light brown hair graced the top of her shoulders and her eyes sparkled with the light of a thousand stars.
"I'll take her," he said to the storekeeper.
"Excellent choice, if you step this way we can make it official" said the storekeeper.

On the drive home, the man had a hard time controlling his enthusiasm. No longer would he have to spend the long holiday season alone. The cold winter months would finally be filled with companionship instead of loneliness. As he turned the corner to his house he realized the woman was crying.
"Why are you crying?"He asked.
With a sniffle she replied, "All my life I've dreamed of this moment. I dreamed that one day a man would come and buy me and we would travel home together. Finally this day has come, and I've realized I don't want it. I just want to be free. I want to be able to choose a husband for myself. I don't want you for my husband".

His heart stopped. Everything had been so perfect. He had actually bought himself a wife, but suddenly she didn't want him as a husband. Darkness filled his soul. He stopped the car in front of his house and said, "If you don't want me I won't force it". Fiddling with the keychain he removed his house key and got out of the car.
With a face of stone he said, "For your troubles take my car, and farewell. All your belongings are in the trunk". Then he walked away, leaving his happiness, and companionship behind.

Music to my Mouth, Not my Ears

Today Jenny made some scrumptious cookies. There are hundreds of different kinds of cookies, but nothing beats a classic. The cookies Jenny made were chocolate chip. They were warm with a slightly crunchy surface. When I took a bite it seemed to melt in my mouth. There were just enough chocolate chips to satisfy a chocolate craving, not so many that it overwhelmed you. Not a single cookie was burnt. My only regret is that there aren't enough to share with everyone. At least I was able to experience this amazing experience. Don't worry, I'll think of all of you while I eat a few more.

Call Me Captain

Rarely do pranks ever enter my life. Maybe because I've always lived at home, but that doesn't matter. Anyways, I have two friends, Kenny and Elisa that work together. The other day I was eating ice cream with the Elisa. She was complaining that she can't ever prank Kenny. Apparently Kenny is all-knowing, and knows every trick in the book and to go along with his brilliance there is an invizible shield protecting him. I have to admit when we feel like causing mischief we know Kenny will have some great ideas. Anyways Elisa wanted to prank Kenny, she asked if I would help. Those are dangerous words. You don't want to get involved in a prank-off with Kenny. But I decided it was time to unleash my creativity on a world of chaos and humiliation. A world that until now I have avoided. In other words I decided to help Elisa. We talked for a while and came up with some good ideas, but realized they needed work. We parted ways with an understanding of great secrecy. Or so I thought. Today Kenny stole Elisa's phone. Using her phone he texted me trying to find out if I would help Elisa prank him. Realizing that it was Kenny trying to figure out my allegiance I didn't give anything away. Later when I was talking to Kenny I found out that Elisa told Kenny I would help her prank him. At that moment I decided needed to prank both of them. Kenny because he is the master, and Elisa because she betrayed me. So I developed a beautiful plan to cause mischief, humiliation, and a downright sense of being beaten by the best, and put it into action. We'll see how it goes. The only reason I divulge my secret now is it can't be stopped. Also so that when it happens ya'll will know I am the new Prank master. But you can call me captain.

Corruption, Presidents, and Ralph Nader

I figure since the election day is here, I might as well jump on the band wagon of political posting. I'd like to say that a candidate represents me and my morals. That would be a lie. I would also like to say that I am well educated on the different issues. That would also be a lie. Most of my information comes from Saturday Night Live, or the Simpsons. Although my sources may not always be the best, there is a lot of truth in sarcasm and humor. In my most humble opinion neither of the two men with a chance of becoming the next president deserves that title. Time after time they change their stance on issues. Neither candidate has the same morals that I approve. John McCain tries too hard to get votes. He plays a popularity game with America. He understands that he isn't as charismatic as Barack Obama. Trying to make up for that fact he recruited Sarah Palin. Oh boy, that was a mistake. She talks and talks, never shutting up. I don't have to point out all the times she sticks her big heavy snow boot into her mouth. Obama may be a charismatic speaker, but he is a sleazy business man as well. Inexperience runs rampant throughout his campaign. I can't vote for Obama or McCain. This is a lucky day for Ralph Nader. Without changing his campaign in the last couple of decades, Nader won my vote. It's a shame I forgot to register.

All Alone

Last night my friends and I decided to have a spur of the moment Jazz game party. Each of us had an assignment. Reagan was to pick up Sarah and some pizza. Miles and Kelly were to get some cheese fries and apple beer. Kenny was just supposed to show up, (he had been working all night). My assignment was to get some girls to come. Thinking back I'm pretty sure my assignment was a joke. Out of all my friends, I know the fewest people and can be the most introverted. But being the team player that I am, I took my assignment to heart. First I went to the apartment of some girls I barely know (miles recommended I stop there). Only one of the girls was home and she was playing cards with some guy. I still invited her, but she didn't show up. Then I was walking back to my car when I saw a couple of girls walking down the street. Deciding that I was going to take my assignment seriously I walked up to the girls to invite them. Neither one of them came. Next I went to another girls apartment. She wasn't home. After that I decided to call almost every girl in my phone. Only one of them answered and she was busy. I should have quit right then, but like I said I was serious about this assignment. I then proceeded to go to the apartment of another girl. I didn't really know her, but one time Miles, Si, and I randomly knocked on her apartment. Nobody was home at her apartment either. In the end I showed up at Reagan's house completely alone. Later when Kenny showed up he said, "No girls, I guess Zac failed" (or something like that). Well I guess I did fail, but at least I tried.