The Wifery

The wind blew the autumn leaves around and around. A man walked alone among this concert of excitement and loss. With each step his shoes would scuff the cold cement. He walked up to one of the many doors lining the street, pulled out a key and unlocked the door. With a heavy sigh he walked into the cold dark house. Too tired to make dinner, the man found himself slumped on the couch staring blankly at the television. He was remembering.

"It's time", he said to his friend.
"Time for what?" his friend replied.
"I'm going to get a wife," he said.
After a minute of sitting in awkward silence his friend asked," where will you get her from?"
"I've looked into three stores, wife patch, soul match, and wife in a basket. I've decided to try wife in a basket. They seem to have slightly better quality than the other two," he replied.

The front of the store was clean and neat. Above the entrance a large yellow sign with swirling red letters read, "Welcome to wife in a basket, come on in and get a wife". Choking down his anxiety the man pushed open the door. Responding to the door a little pudgy man popped up from behind the cash register.
"What can I help you with today?" the storekeeper asked.
"I'm looking for a wife," he replied.
"Well you came to the right store; all we sell here are wives and wives aplenty. What is your preference?" the store keeper asked.
With a look of confusion the man replied, "I'm not sure, this is my first time getting a wife".
"If you just walk this way then, I'll show you our wonderful selection of wifery," said the storekeeper.
The man followed the storekeeper trying not to be overwhelmed by the gawking women. He was about to give up when he saw her. She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Only ten feet away she waited, eyeing this prospective husband up and down. There was coolness about her, a sense of self that many other women didn't have. Her light brown hair graced the top of her shoulders and her eyes sparkled with the light of a thousand stars.
"I'll take her," he said to the storekeeper.
"Excellent choice, if you step this way we can make it official" said the storekeeper.

On the drive home, the man had a hard time controlling his enthusiasm. No longer would he have to spend the long holiday season alone. The cold winter months would finally be filled with companionship instead of loneliness. As he turned the corner to his house he realized the woman was crying.
"Why are you crying?"He asked.
With a sniffle she replied, "All my life I've dreamed of this moment. I dreamed that one day a man would come and buy me and we would travel home together. Finally this day has come, and I've realized I don't want it. I just want to be free. I want to be able to choose a husband for myself. I don't want you for my husband".

His heart stopped. Everything had been so perfect. He had actually bought himself a wife, but suddenly she didn't want him as a husband. Darkness filled his soul. He stopped the car in front of his house and said, "If you don't want me I won't force it". Fiddling with the keychain he removed his house key and got out of the car.
With a face of stone he said, "For your troubles take my car, and farewell. All your belongings are in the trunk". Then he walked away, leaving his happiness, and companionship behind.