Huggermugger

I sit here wondering why? Why do I have secrets? Why does anyone have secrets? Why is it so hard to share secrets? Every once in a while one of my secrets will slip out. People stare at me when that happens. Tonight one of my secrets slipped between my lips. She asked if I was joking. I immediately wished I was. I decided my secrets are the part of me that I'm afraid to show to the world. They are the things about me that the world might disapprove of. I just wish it didn't always hurt so much to hold them inside. I wish I could let go and show myself to the world, but I can't. My secrets keep me moving when nothing else will. Secrets are painful but they give me a way out. They allow me to pretend to the world; a world that is unforgiving, a world that doesn't really care about who I am or who I'm trying to be. My lips are locked. I guess that is why.